It’s been said, knowledge is power. Unfortunately, many people like to spread damaging information or intimate details about others, whether true or not. Over the past 20 years of teaching, I have experienced this on many occasions. Private information being shared with others, students telling others about personal things their teacher had shared with them. Teachers bad mouthing, lying, and spreading negative rumours about other teachers to feed their ego and to raise their own popularity by making others feel sorry for them. This is what is called negative gossip. It used to be that people called gossip, dishing the dirt. Whatever it’s called, people use gossip to hurt other people, to feel good about themselves and to feel like they have power over others.
Gossip Destroys Reputations
If you know something juicy someone did over the weekend, it’s easy to feel like you must tell others. We especially like it when we hear something that makes someone look bad and I am sure you are guilty as we all are of spreading gossip about weekend antics to your friends and families thinking that it can't do any harm.
It Is Time For You To Decide You Do Not Want To Have Any Part Of It
The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation. A reputation is very fragile. When you gossip, you are helping to destroy something extremely valuable. If it’s time for you to commit to no longer have any part of gossip, here are 5 tips on how to do it:
Make An Intentional Decision You Are Not Going To Gossip
Even though the temptation to gossip is powerful, you will always win when you choose not to use it. And really, with all gossip, there’s no way of knowing for sure what is true or not. The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation and can destroy what they have created and all because of negative gossip and lies. Simply D Not Listen To Others When They Gossip Or Share Information About Others.
Gossip grows an audience. By simply being there listening to it adds to its appeal. If someone starts to tell you something gossipy, say, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about this person when they’re not here to defend themselves. Not only will you break the gossip chain, but you also will gain the trust of other people, as someone who won’t spread rumours. With all gossip, there is no way of knowing what is truth and what is a lie. You can never just take the authors word for it, that it not only immature but it is irresponsible. Always remember that there are 2 sides to every story so if you only listen and believe 1 side of a story then you are just as much to blame as the author of the gossip/lie.
Do Not Judge People Based On Gossip - It Is Probably Not True
If you should hear gossip about someone you know or do not know, you have two choices: allow the gossip to determine what you believe, or let your own personal experience determine what you think. The first time you have an experience with someone that is contrary to the gossip you’ve heard; you’ll be a lot more careful about spreading or believing gossip the next time you hear it.
Think Before You Speak.
Before you repeat something you’ve heard about another person, think: does this really do any good for me to spread this information? Or am I just trying to be in the know? Is the information even true? Could I be hurting someone by telling this, even if it is true {where 9 times out of 10 gossip is a fabricated story or a plain outright lie}.If the person you are talking to is not part of the problem, or part of the solution, there’s no need to tell them anything.
Do Not Associate With People Who Find Joy In Belittling Others And Stay Away From People Who Gossip To You Because They Will Gossip And Lie about You Too.
Don’t associate with people who find such great joy in belittling others. or take it upon themselves to write blogs or notices about others. Be especially weary if you find a post where someone mentions something but does not actually name the person they are talking about. This is a sure fact that the story they are creating is a lie and not truthful. Be very careful about what you choose to tell these people. If it’s a close friend, fellow student or spiritual teacher you might consider saying how you want to stop spreading gossip,There’s an old saying, "stick and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me". That’s not true. Being gossiped about can be extremely painful {trust me I know because I have been the victim of gossip and lies}.If you would not like it if someone said things about you then do not do it to others. It is that simple. In the end, it never pays to gossip.