Many of you reading this will have been a victim of a spiritual attack or you might have experienced being hurt either emotionally or physically by someone who you thought was a friend or even a family member. I know from personal experience that since becoming a spiritual teacher in 2002, I have had my fair share of spiritual attacks, people who I thought were friends, using me for what they could get fro me then throwing me to the curb side. I have also been at the receiving end of negative words and lies from so called "Spiritual individuals" who should know better than to lie and create karmic debt that will only affect them in the long run. If you have experienced something that has caused you to feel depressed, sad, lonely or even angry then please continue to read on to learn about the tips to help you see your situation from a wider perspective when you find it difficult to forgive another person.
1} Know That It Is Never Personal
Understanding where the other person is coming from and how their behaviour has nothing to do with you makes forgiving them a natural response. When someone says or does something that hurts you, they are not reacting directly to you, they are reacting to their own thinking, lower vibration and negativity. They are not reacting to the reality as it is, but rather to their own perception of the situation that they have created. When you are able to see this at a deeper level, you can become less reactive. If the other person does something that deeply hurts you, instead of taking it personally, try to become curious. As yourself, what happened to them to make them them act like that in the first place?
2} Know That You Are Always Doing Your Best
You, like everyone else, are always doing the best you can with the tools and knowledge you have in the moment. What looks reasonable to you when you feel the anger burning inside often looks like a mistake afterwards. If you had known this in the middle of the storm of your emotions, you would not have acted from that place. But you didn’t know. This is why you may sometimes do things that you regret later. The more you understand this, the more innocence you can see in every act of unkindness, yours and others’.
3} Remember That Anger Clouds Thinking
When you feel stressed, upset, or angry, you lose your ability to see the moment clearly and objectively. Your perspective narrows, your negative emotions blind you momentarily, and you see everything in a more negative light than usual. Your feelings of hurt are overshadowing your experience. When you see this and take a moment to allow your mind to calm down, your understanding of the situation becomes deeper. In the heat of the moment, you might do or say things that you will later regret. You might be in the middle of an argument and say something that really hurts the other person. Deep down you know that you don’t really mean what you are saying, but your heated emotions override your ability to think clearly. Every act that comes from a place of unkindness is coming from a mind that is struggling. Whenever you do things that hurt other people, you are suffering inside. Understanding this allows you to forgive others more effortlessly and gives you an opportunity to see your situation from a wider perspective. Not only will you realise that you don’t need to hold onto your negative emotions, but you can also recognise the humanity in every single person. Everything resolves, one way or another, with the understanding that comes when your mind is calm.
What all this means is that you can forgive and choose to continue your life without the weight of your past, regardless of whether you still want to have the other person in your life, or not. It also teaches you to let go of any wrong doing, hurtful words or defamation of your name and character. The problem does not lay with you, the problem is with the person who has hurt you and it is ultimately their path to learn from their own mistakes so they can advance on their spiritual and life's path. If they cannot move on from this event then they will continue to live a life of hared, anger, negativity which will slowly eat away at their soul resulting in it becoming harder for them to move forward while you will be living your life with happiness and love because you forgave their actions and you chose to move on to live a life of happiness and forgiveness.